20 DAYS

Invitations done: ready to mail this weekend
Decorations: planned
Food: planned
Excitement level: through the roof

Lady is having a birthday in 20 days. It's over the top, everyone is telling that I'm "sooo stupid" for wasting my time and money. But I'm not just throwing a birthday party for a 1 year old. We are CELEBRATING the past WONDERFUL year of LAYLA DAY. We're partying to show the world how grateful we are that she is a part of our lives and that adoption is a bigger than life miracle and it's over and a part of our past.
Love it love it love it. Can't wait for you all to celebrate with us.

Here's a little picture of Lady's 11 month pictures in her rocking chair. She wanted nothing of it and I LOVE that her feisty italian attitude is showing the best of her in this moment.

I'm sorry but sometimes her meltdowns are so fun to watch because she just absolutely falls apart.... just like her mother. I'm sure if I sifted through some old photo's of myself we'd see me making having this same exact fit.

She hated the other chair, but loves this one like crazy.

EXHALE AND EXCHANGE

Last week I realized I no longer had a need for the fifty gazillion burp rags in the cupboard, or the teensy tinesy hooded baby towels folded nicely in the closet... and all the other "baby paraphernalia" laying around the house. The first time I earned the right to enter the baby isle and not feel like an obvious outsider, I was in seventh heaven. I waited so so long to stock a nursery and pick out every detail and make it perfect. Well, now all that stuff is headed to storage. Wow that came fast. I was totally unprepared for the time to come to pack all that stuff up and move into toddlerhood. Duh shan, what did you think happens after an entire year of infancy!?
So after the cupboards were cleaned out, wiped down and re-stocked with new "big girl" items... I was having "baby product" withdrawals. So I bought this -

Layla's new ride --- Moo.

I've been avoiding the change from tiny snuggly baby to crawling wiggling child, from sleeping anywhere to whining everywhere, and doll size diapers to just dolls. Tonight after Lady woke up from her afternoon nap (another change... little to no morning nap - but an awesomely long pm nap) we just sat and played together. The Big Guy Upstairs continues to nudge my heart and remind me to STOP RESISTING and enjoy my ride with Lady. Oh, it's so so rad when I stop resisting her feisty-ness and I remind myself to live in the moment and at the very moment I stop... we totally connect. She'll look up at me and smile and the sparkle in her eyes speaks to me. It's like our spirits hugging and I need to always remember that sensation. 

So the baby rattles have been exchanged for "little people" circus trains and teething toys for doll houses. I'm excited for the change but a part of me aches with wonderment of whether those baby items will ever be extracted from storage and washed, folded and snuggled again... 

33:01:17

33 Days: 1 Hour: 17 Minutes until Lady's BDay Bash.....
Here's another hint!

Enjoy

Ahhhh.

Grandpa flew us to St George on Friday...

We were in search of this...

And to meet Great Grandma R. 

One of my most favorite years of my life was 2008 when I spent my Thursdays and Fridays taking care of G.G.R. She lived with my parents for a short while and due to her advanced Alzheimer's Disease she is a lot of work. With less than 20 second memory, aggitation, confusion and anxiety, she struggles to find joy in life now. But babies always help her revert back to the natural instinct of a mother and she relaxes and enjoys life for a few moments.

She sang Lady a few ditties...

Then, we put on this (and I snacked on those thighs) and we took a dip...

Loved it...

Lady showed me how to relax and enjoy...

Then we hopped back on this...

 

And did this...

And couldn't wait to get back to Kday.

WELL WORTH THE WAIT...

Mothers Day.

Used to dread it, hate it, feel sorry for myself. (which this year I wondered why? It's just 1 day a year that we "celebrate" mother's... I don't get mad when we celebrate Veterans day because I'm not a Vet. Or Memorial day because I'm not dead. So why did I always get so upset over it?)

This year was perfection. I didn't feel silly at church when they handed out gifts, I completely expected the breakfast that was prepared for me. I was in 7th heaven. Kday even commented on how much more enjoyable this holiday is now. Poor guy, used to get the wrath of an infertile woman. Walking on eggshells on Mother's Day is a thing of the past for that sweet man of mine.

This year we celebrated. We didn't celebrate me. We celebrated the chance that we've been given to be parents. We focused on all the crazy little things about motherhood that I adore. No it's not always rainbows and cupcakes... but those MAMA moments, that is what I celebrated this year.

I couldn't take my hands or lips or eyes off Lady all day. She was smothered in kisses, dressed to a T and down right obsessed over all day. She is the strongest person I know. She stood before the Lord and said, "yes, I will leave my fate on Earth to someone else's free agency to decide. I will count on you God to guide and prompt my birth mother to give me an eternal family. But if she choses not to, I will still go and be valiant." Layla took a risk. And I reaped the reward.

Oh how words can not describe how I cherish her. It's as if our hearts beat for each other.

We celebrated with this beautiful print that Kday made for Lady's room. To remind us of how far we've come.

Her signature bird was included... as always.

Kday's oldest sister hosted a superb gathering of food and mingling

Then we enjoyed our Lady love...

Thank you Lady's Birth Angel for sacrificing your own desires for the love and welfare of your beautiful child. You have walked in the footsteps of Christ and your humility and charity are the most precious gifts you have given your angel baby. I will forever celebrate the chance I have to be a mother, but it was because of your willingness to listen to the still small voice of the Lord, who guided you to us. I remember you and Him everyday when I pick up Lady with her arms outstretched for me... I am her Mama. I am in love.

60:00:14:43

Sixty days, fourteen minutes, and forty three seconds until we'll celebrate Layla's miraculous first birthday. Plans are so, so in the works!
Here's teaser #2

DRINK IT UP

Mom food

Baby food

Equally expensive

NOT equally  nutritious

We both can't get enough

Timing is Everything...

Lady did great at the hearing test today.  Some mild problems with the left ear that could just be caused by the fluid behind her ear... we'll re-test again in 6 weeks. Even if the problems persist, they weren't bad enough to be considered "hearing loss" - more or less those quiet sounds are just a little muffled. Otherwise she PASSED! Yay!
And of coarse, after all the hoop-la of going to the hospital and passing the test what did she decide to do all the way to lunch afterward? BABBLE. Loud and clear, "da da da da, ta ta ta" Nice Lady, I guess a lesson to be learned from you is that you do everything in your own time. You'll talk when you want to say something and you'll crawl when you actually want to bad enough... until then I'll just let you develop at your own pace and stop pressuring you :) Besides, all this work to get you to talk and walk is going to come back to bite me in the butt someday isn't it?

P.S Thanks to my fabul-a-roso Mother In-Law for a tasty lunch at Zupp@s!

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?

Lady is having her hearing checked today.

I'm sure it will be fine. 

At her 9 month check up Doc noticed that Lady is a little quiet and not very "baby babbly"

Better to be safe than sorry.

I guess she doesn't get her Chatty Kathy spell from yours truly :)

Maybe she has just learned how to tune my constant babbling out, so much that she's tuning out the rest of the noise in the world! 

Smart girl. 

294 DAYS

Two hundred and ninety four days of BLISS. 

Well, minus the first few months of colic and me being a total freak... otherwise, bliss. 

She looks so different, yet the same. 

We napped on the couch today together after work. 

I love when she lays on my chest- I know that she can hear my heart beat... it beats for her.

She is Bee-u-ti-full in white.

Her knuffle bunny is her favorite, but for me it's like carrying around a second child 

Hmmm, I hope I get to have a second child.

74:12:33

No, those aren't running stats. They are Layla Stats. I have 74 days, 12 hours, and 33 minutes until her 1st Birthday. The planning has officially begun. Oh you just wait...


Here's a little tiny teaser -

Proud as a Peacock

Everywhere we go Layla's hair stops the show. Literally, as in people stop and talk to us about it, or repeatedly tell us how much they love it and then call all their friends over to see it. And these are people we don't know! Like people in the store, the gas station, restaurant... total strangers stop us to enjoy her hair. Layla's cousin said this about her hair; "G's Layla's hair sticks straight up... she really likes to show it off huh!?" Sometimes we wonder if it will every lay down, other times we hope it doesn't because it's so cute. We've tried hair gel, lotion, water, hairspray, and good old fashion lick the hand and slick it down... then if you watch it closely it slowly rises back up until it's in full salute! Not only do people say, "Oh my, what beautiful eyes," or "Wow, she is gorgeous," or "What a beautiful smile," but they say "Her hair is so fun! Look at it!" She really is a show stopper and we like to think that her eyes, her beauty, her smile and her hair are all just a reflection of what her incredible spirit has in store for us. She is strong, gentle, beautiful and full of life. Seriously, could that hair get any bigger?! Layla has a Halo of Hair.

We're talking inches of height here people! YAOWZA!!!! LOVE it love it love it!

EGGCELENT EASTER

Last Easter Kevin and I were walking on eggshells. We had just been informed that Layla's birth-mother wanted to meet us and decide if we were the right parents for Layla. As absolutely ecstatic as we were, fear of the unknown and the idea of a potential loss was looming over our heads.  We debated over telling our families about our good news, but again we feared getting everyone's hopes up. But with the encouragement and support of Kday's mom, we decided to break the news. While all the grandkids were hunting for easter eggs my MIL and I set out an easter basket just for Layla. It was small and full of hand picked baby items, including the baby bath set I remember picking out like it was yesterday. When the entire family settled in the living room and watched their children sort through their baskets, Kday and I sat back and waited for the response. It will be a day I never forget. The excitement filled the room as people started figuring out our little secret. Fast foreword 1 year later and this year we got to enjoy our Easter without fear of the rug being pulled out from under us. It was amazing. This Easter was a dream come true.

Exploring and teaching our baby about the beauty around us

Enjoying family traditions... as a "family"

Easter dresses, baskets, eggs, and more

Layla's first "official" Easter Basket

Family

Pure Joy

MY ANGEL - MY SOUL

Dear Layla,
You are my strength, my miracle, my soul. You see the truth of my heart and I know that you understand me in a deep personal way. We connect, through those eyes... we see each other. God sent your strength to our family for a reason we'll someday understand. You allowed yourself to be so vulnerable in order to get to us, you relied on other's choices and free agency to get to me. Your spirit leaves people speechless... but those eyes say it all. Those eyes are my favorite. I love you with the entirety of my heart. 
Love,
Momma

THIS LITTLE PIGGY.... TAIL

Oh my, we've reached a new moment in motherhood. Lady is a bit famous for her amazing hair that stands straight up without any assistance..... but this is a whole new realm to explore. LOVING IT!

THIS WAS YESTERDAY

Layla ate Breakfast

(I usually don't tolerate such messes, but I'm trying to do so  because the books say it's good and clearly she loves it)

Sday ate Breakfast

Layla lost her legs under the couch in an attempt to crawl

She's stuck in reverse

Zipper decided that the freshly scrubbed sink was a nice place to nap.

Would anyone like a free cat?

Lunch: Celery and Laughing Cows

Aunt April - my sister visited for lunch

Layla's new teeth enjoyed a Banana

I shop vac-ed the project site ( post soon to follow explaining "the project")

And kissed Kday goodnight before heading home to bed

Kday stayed and did manly work at the project site

And returned home to snuggle in bed around 4am

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR

Spring fever? Maybe.

 Seasonal Affective Anxiety? Maybe.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Yes.

Had a few really busy weeks that have left my life, home and daughters eating and sleep routine in complete disarray. 

Absolutely. 

I am feeling like organized piles are multiplying like easter bunnies around the house and the winter mess is catching up to our little abode. The snow has finally melted and revealed a soggy wet list of things to do to get the yard somewhat presentable.  And I've finally come to the reality that I have fallen into accidental encouragement of Layla's poor napping habits. She is a breeze to get to sleep and stay asleep at night. But her daily naps leave a lot to be desired.  So the pair of us are at a turning point. Next week has been dedicated to "nap - sleep training" and there needs to be a game plan involved. I'm mentally prepping for the heart wrenching minutes filled with the sound of her learning to sooth herself to sleep and stay asleep longer than 45 minutes... I need a list to keep me focused and busy. Last spring we had 6 short weeks to prepare our home to welcome Layla. It was awesome. I washed almost every square inch of the house with a toothbrush. The vacuum was vacuumed and the drawers were all organized and the label maker was labeled. This year she is inspiring me once again. Next week will be the perfect host for our spring cleaning and organizing event while she learns to organize her sleeping habits. 

So, I'm reminding myself before spewing out this list that I need to take a deep breath in..... and slowly let it out. Here goes.

*Basic Once Over on each room (vacuum, mop, dust all surfaces and objects in room. Wipe down walls and baseboards and any light fixtures and doors.)

*File the "To File" drawer full of papers

*Organize and label current "To Do" folders

*Revise Monthly Budget Forms

*Read "Positive Discipline - the first three years"

*Read "Child of Mine - feeding with love and good sense"

*Make a rotating meal plan and hang on the fridge

*Plan Wasatch Back Training Run Schedule and hang on fridge

*Organize and de-clutter Layla's toy bins

*Plan 6 months of Family Home Evening

*Sew Layla and I matching summer hats

*Finish and hang Vision Board

*Re-design Sdayrunning website

*Re-Label all file folders for 2010 and rotate out 2009 files into Long Term filing cabinet.

I'm sure I won't have time to achieve all those projects. But it gives me an idea of what I need to get done in the next few weeks. That way we can relax and enjoy watching the spring flowers bud and trees blossom on our daily walks. My theory is bust it all out in 1 week and enjoy the rest of the year!